I've been wanting to come up with a way to say what I feel about this topic for so long. But I found someone who said it much better than I could have.
Dear fellow human being,
Today when you came up to me and said "wow you must be crazy for having all those kids" in front of my children, I am afraid that there were a few misunderstandings, so I feel compelled to clarify a few things.
First of all you must not have understood that my childrens ears worked. I understand how this happened, see when they just stood there quietly after you said it you must have thought they were deaf not just well behaved. But of course you didn't hear my daughter crying because of your comments on the way home rest assured all of their ears are in working order.
Next when you went on and on about how wonderful your one child was and how you knew when to stop, Perhaps you didn't understand that I feel humbled and honored to have the children I have and view them as blessings not burdens. Maybe this is a new thought concept for you as we heard you screaming at said wonderful child 2 aisles over 20 minutes later that he was "really p*ssing you off".
Then when you asked if we were done having kids ( in front of the children also). You must not have understood that is none of your business and very rude. Also just to be clear I don't have to justify my reasons to anyone, but thanks for the repetitive attempts to get me to. This is a decision between myself, my husband and God. And just to let you know, no I don't care why you had your tubes tied or why your sisters husband had a vasectomy, but thanks for all the new vocabulary words for my children.
When you went on and on about how will I feed all of them and clothe all of them. Once again I think you misunderstood not only is this not your business it's also not your problem. They were all dressed and fed and this occurs everyday just fine without your concern, but thanks for the entire run down of your sons $900 school wardrobe. I never knew jeans for an 8 year old cost $60.
I am really concerned that you misunderstood my reaction, I fear that you thought my calm, respectful manner was acceptance of what you were saying and that was most definitely not the case. That was my faith that I was trying to live. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated and to show kindness to others no matter how little they show to me. But most of all I had many pairs of eyes and ears watching and I try to lead by example so my politeness was an attempt to guide my children on how not to be rude like you.
But I think the most important thing you misunderstood is how much better this world is because my children are here. See I have one that wants to be a doctor and she will care for you when you are sick, I have a one that wants to be a lawyer who will stand up for your rights. Another wants to be a solider who will protect you so that you can feel safe going to walmart and harassing big families. Another wants to be a priest and he will pray for you because heaven knows you need it.The rest are too little to know what they want yet,who knows if we have presidents or scientists or what else.
So the next time you or your friends (and you do have many friends) are out and you see a larger family please understand this WE HAVE FEELINGS TOO AND YOUR MEANESS REALLY HURTS. If you can smile and wave great if not please just keep walking.
3 comments:
Cheryl,
I don't know who wrote that, but I think it is perfect. As a father of a large family, I too have experienced this, and well, it is more than annoying at times. As a father I often get the, "So you are baby sitting today?" No, I am their father. (no James Earl Jones necessary.) Thank you for taking the time to express this. Let the person know who wrote it how wonderful it is. Thanks - Jeff
I can't stand this mentality that large families are burdens. My cousin that is expecting twins in April is already being told to stop having children... and guess what, it's their second pregnancy (thus child #2 and #3). It's sick.
I asked a good friend with a large family once, with all the kindness and care I possibly could have, "Is this what you want(ed)?" and the answer was "Oh, yes, very much so." And my answer to that was, "God bless you then. I am happy for you and can be only as such."
As it was so eloquently said, it is none of my business what consenting adults decide on their own, and how could I possibly change, influence or control that?
My desire in and for this life is to love and be loved, and in doing so, I can only hope that it is paid down the line again and again. This is why I believe I have many friends and and many more yet to be made.
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