Boys

Boys are strange creatures. There are certain things that every mother should be told shortly after giving birth to a boy. Namely your days of having things make sense are gone. Instead they will be filled with pulling Darth Vader's head out of the couch cushions, stepping on Legos, mediating sword fights, hearing a constant barrage of shooting noises coming from your child's mouth, getting the child out of strange places, dealing with the child stuck 20 feet up in a tree or the child who climbed into the barn loft but is now afraid to come back down. Then there is the boy who seems to think chickens should live in the house with the rest of the family. I swear I never thought the words "get the chicken out of the house" would come out of my mouth. Boys seem to live to make a mess and can seek out the only mud puddle anywhere. Boys are also programmed to fight, defend and protect. So all of their annoying games and war battles and such are really setting the stage for what they may be called to do with their lives as men. I mean, who really wants to be married to that whimpy guy who freaks at the sight of blood or spiders and can't swing a hammer to save his life? I do my best to remind myself that all of these obnoxious behaviors serve a purpose for later in life but I do wonder what it would be like to have a house full of children with calmer personalities. For now I will stick with sending the rowdy bunch outside or down to the playroom and the swords will remain confiscated on top of the fridge until they are able to engage their minds while swinging them. We will make an attempt to focus on the chivalrous aspects of being a man and life and simply hope that one day we will be able to go to bed without a headache from all the noise. I guess the reason you aren't told all of these things about having boys is because if you only knew what was waiting for you down the road, you just may run screaming from the prospect of what your darling little babe might turn into.