So I just finished making our Paschal Candle for 2017. Yes, I made it. No, I made no attempts to collect the kidlets around me and make it a meaningful family project or anything. Just nope. And as I set it down on the mantel in our bedroom, I noticed our 2016 Paschal Candle. Still sitting there. Unlit. Covered in dust. Because life. The real kind of life with 10 people down with the flu. At the same time. While Dad is out of town for a month. The kind of life where you laugh at the idea of dusting. Where you just changed 3 diapers in 5 minutes. Just life.
Yes, I am now a certifiable Catholic Mommy Blogging failure. And I'm totally ok with that. I no longer have any illusions of focusing on all the awesome feast days and liturgical awesomeness. Because I'm too busy. Because I'm no longer thinking I have anything new or different to share with folks. Seriously, it has all been done before from the at home altar to the crocheted roses for family prayer time (love them) to the rosaries made out of cupcakes (because sugar).
I've listened to Moms with far fewer kids go on about how there is never a reason for a kid to ever misbehave in Mass or make noise. And gone home to laugh. I've listened to a priest say if you can't keep your child silent in church, you and your spouse must attend separate Masses. And wanted to explain how life just is not that simple (not for single parents, not for parents where one spouse is out of town, not for folks with a deployed spouse, not for lots of folks). And perhaps gone home to cry and yell and shake my head in frustration.And felt the urge to point out to said priest that so many studies show that when Dad does not attend Mass with the family, the kids lose their faith. So, um, there is that and the empty churches now but sure, we'll make sure no child ever makes a peep, ever. I've taught several kids with sensory issues to sit through and eventually enjoy the very experience of Mass which was at one point absolutely painful for them. Listened to the two year old announce loudly "Jesus Coming?" while pointing at all the statues and looking at me like I am a crazy lady for suggesting such a thing when He was clearly already there.
So I guess we are now focusing on hit and miss liturgical parenting. Yes, that is a thing. Because I just made it one. :) We still have our rules. No children's liturgy or cry rooms because we are just do not work that way. Ever it seems. No Santa or Easter Bunny. No Christmas parties during Advent. No egg hunts during Lent. Hit a few feast days every year but don't stress over which ones. Mass is a non-negotiable unless you are ill. We don't focus on attending our home parish but rather on attending together as a family. Because I have done too many years of Mass without my husband to do it now on purpose. No thank you. We don't do the toys in church thing but we do buy donuts most of the time if everyone behaves. The kids know the word tabernacle and what it means and how to find it. The boys serve funeral Masses, even for those they don't know because there is no greater gift to give than your time. We don't participate in most parish fund raisers because we frankly cannot afford to. I swear you have to have an extra income just to participate in these things which strikes me as terribly elitist to be honest. We don't send the kids to religious ed because it is wishy washy as long as you are a good person everything is ok junk.And at $145 for 3 kids, I laugh when they say the cost for classes only covers the cost of materials used. Who are they kidding. And sacraments are an extra fee on top of it. No one has time for that.
So, hm, what am I saying? I'm still learning and growing. Sticking much more fiercely to the things that truly matter and letting go of the extras. Because no one has time for that. Least of all me.
OH, RIGHT. If you want to make that Paschal Candle for your home, here's the print out. Seriously an easy project. All you need is a $1 tall votive candle from the grocery store, a bit of glue, and a print out. Even your 5 year old could do it, it you want to share with them. Or one tired burned out Mom. Either way.